I decided to visit my old blog tonight, something I haven’t done since starting this new one. I wanted a clean slate after all.
Aside from grammatical errors and lines that are just begging to be edited, I came across an entry that captured my attention. The post is from 2009, dated December 26. I no longer recall the specific circumstances that led to its conception, but it does strike a chord with me today.
Hereby reposting “Sunshine”:
You move your legs, your arms. You hoist your body forward. You struggle then realize you’ll only sink if you fight. You choose to relax, to breathe easy, to let the current take you, to let the water cradle you. Then you move forward.
How hard it is to navigate through the flow, to trust your gut to lead you in the right direction. It’s not easy to walk in a vacuum, to feel your way through the darkness, the hairs on the back of your neck standing as the chill of the unknown pulls you in.
The seduction is strong. The temptation is far too great to resist. The anticipation threatens to break your steel. You feel weak, but only a strong heart can choose to carry on. You know freedom waits. It lies in the truth, the discovery that can [either] loosen the grip or tighten the coil.
You burn. Your skin prickles with the heat. Your insides churn. Your senses are ablaze. The sparks dance before you, and you are taken by their beauty. To hell with caution, to hell with distance. You are out there now, naked and on fire.
Silence ensues. Waiting… waiting… The stillness mocks you. You who yearns for a whisper… a rustle… a stir, and you scream in rapture. Barely a ripple on the surface, yet you die inside.
The morning cometh.
Your light has come to find me.
Your flame has come to wake me.
I bathe in your warmth; I bask in your glow.
I rest in your glory.
I come to meet you.
I guess a feeling, however fleeting, can also be enduring. Attempting to give it form through words is quite similar to painting an image. Both have the audacity to look you in the eye and dare you to retrace your steps and look back to see just how far you’ve come and how some things remain the same.